Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Horror Story


Free Indeed Ministry Update

April 2010


In This Issue

Horror Story





Bill Irwin, Executive DirectorI am never surprised any longer at the horror stories that I hear almost daily about the sexual abuse and  lackadaisical way that fathers leave their pornographic material lilting around in reach of their pre-pubescent boys.  The following story is one of these; I apologize for its length, but I don't think anything could be left out to fully express this man's horror!


 "I became a wounded, ashamed victim, as a nine year old, screwed up for all of my young life and tormented for most of my adult life. The story goes like this:  Me and three of my innocent 12 year old male friends were camping out in one of the boy's back yard.  He brought out a National Geographic that contained photos of African nude woman, they were giggling about it because they had never seen nude woman. I now recall that is when I started to feel so abnormal and ashamed.  Not only had I seen a live nude adult woman, but was forced to do things to her that were unknown to me before I had even matured enough to be sexually active.


I was one of my Priest's many boy victims. We were all like minded kids who were usually fatherless and poor.  We boys were forced to perform horrible acts on each other and  sometimes we were tied up, spanked,  or forced to wear leather mask, all the while being watched and video taped by our priest who was  our audience as well as our sexual perpetrator!


I entered the military to get away from all this. I had a flash back one day and told my Captain about my childhood experience prior to enlisting into the USAF. He asked all kinds of detailed questions. I remember so vividly, it seems to turn him on.  I was barely 19 and so scared, stationed in an air base overseas.  He immediately took total advantage of me.  I started reliving my past abuse all over again for the next 2+ years.


He re-assigned me to our squadron mail room as the mail clerk so he had daily access to me.  I became his sexual slave, wimp, caged sissy, made to worship his big black clerk.  I was also forced to serve and wait on him and thank him for his verbal humiliation and abuse. It was all terrible and now sometimes it's horrifying to think it's considered normal as a fetish. There was also an army Lt. Col. who I was passed on to a few times. I was instructed to serve him in any way he asked. If I did not perform well I would be severely punished. By being paddled and placed in hand cuffs and a big kennel /cage. 


My most recent of my six ex-wives and I practiced a dysfunctional lifestyle for almost 20 years. I was the self-inflicted cuckold and she only had alpha men and black males as lovers. I served her sexual partners in similar ways as I did for the Captain.  I have always felt such guilt for contaminating her with my sexual sin. Now I am an adult in chains and have been for the pass thirty six plus years since my military sexual abuse. 


I am so grateful for the opportunity to get free from all this horrible mess that has gone on in my life.  I know that Free Indeed Ministries is a God sent program for me!  Thank you for accepting me into the Freedom Fighter's Program."


This man was crying like a baby while telling me this horrifying story!  It is so gratifying to know that if he really wants freedom from his past life God will see that he gets it through this wonderful ministry.

 Partnering in His Service,

Bill Irwin

Bill Irwin, Executive Director





Free Indeed


P.O. Box 2836
Waterville, Maine 04903-2836
Free Indeed







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