Tuesday, January 1, 2013

New JONAH Article:"Dr. Oz: Don't keep Ex-Gays in the closet! We have rights too!


"Dr. Oz:   Don't keep Ex-Gays in the closet!  We have rights too!"
Written By: Avraham
(Posted January 2013)
I am really disappointed in the biased slant the Dr. Oz show took with regard to Reparative Therapy( November 2012). With 3 men representing "Reparative Therapy" and 7 against, including a gay celebrity icon and a "Harvard" grad, it's quite disturbing there appears to be is no such entity as ethical and even-handed journalism on this issue.

I am a man that has been actively involved in Reparative Therapy for about 5 years after playing around secretly through a tumultuous marriage. I was married for 14 years and I'm a father of 4 children, ages 8-14. Not only has my life been incomprehensibly enriched by my journey, I have a peer group of dozens and dozens of men who all believe in this process and whose lives have been enriched themselves through Reparative Therapy.  My personal story is a bit lengthy and colorful... with many highs and lows... but overall, I'm so much happier now than ever.  I have an amazingly large support group, including my family who all know my story. 
Our main problem is that all of us (a group of hundreds and hundreds I know of) are petrified to tell our stories publicly because of the harsh stance the strong gay political movement has which is supported by the politically correct media - in addition to the community at large. This has actually created an environment where the gay movement who fought so hard to get people 'out of the closet' are the very same people who are keeping men who want to work on their emotional baggage 'in the closet'.

The Anti-Reparative Therapist spokespeople you had on your show were so angry and appear to want everyone to agree with them that Reparative Therapy makes promises it can't fulfill.  I was never promised anything... just an opportunity to work on the personal issues that I believe caused my unwanted same-sex attraction (SSA). The work is hard!  It's not for everyone!  But if you can and want to do the work, it's so rewarding. There are parts of the work that didn't work for me, but I know from others it worked for them. Even when I attempted it, I was not "harmed"... the process or technique was simply ineffective for me. Men who feel depression, OCD, or have suicidal tendencies are dealing with much more than their sexual orientation and need professional help for their issues which are all too common in men with SSA - much more common than in the general population.

Today's movement of Reparative Therapy, including Rich Wyler's People Can Change, JONAH, NARTH, etc., are not the methods used ages ago. They are a grass-roots movement trying to do work while fighting "the establishment". 

While the gay political movement has done wonderful work with regard to human rights and equality - as I strongly believe all people should be respected and treated equal - the lengths to which they have gone to squash any research or position that questions the possibility of a "cause" of Same Sex Attractions to be anything other than genetic or innate is highly questionable - especially since there is no such evidence to date to support that theory. So if there is no such support, but there are people that have experienced a decrease in SSA  and attribute their times of lust and attractions to the same underlying causes as any other addiction, including alcohol addiction, porn addiction, food addiction, drug addiction, gambling addiction, etc., then SSA becomes just another symptom of underlying distress.  Any of these escapisms are used to numb a person's emotional wounds in a similar manner. When these wounds are dealt with in therapy, including using aspects of the 12-step model, the attractions decrease. Then when you add emotional intelligence - learning how to connect on a deeper level with a woman, being authentic, open and honest, it's amazing how attracted I became to the opposite gender.

As many people know, men with SSA (or gay if you wish) are typically highly intelligent, creative, over-achievers, etc. etc. These attributes are found just as often in the Reparative Therapy circles. I know many Harvard grads, nuclear physicists, actors, doctors, lawyers, media personalities, graphic designers, fashion designers, architects, etc., who are all working on themselves through Reparative Therapy. They are outstanding, level-headed role models who take the work very seriously and have grown tremendously through it. 

We are a productive and healthy group of men dealing with our 'issues', taking ownership of our 'issues', and improving our lives and the lives of the people around us.  We believe there is no such entity as a "homosexual" male; we think of ourselves as men who feel unwanted SSA.  The Bible forbids a homosexual act, and people labeled men who do this act as "homosexuals", much like one labels one who steals a "thief". It does not mean these men cannot control their desires, work on their issues, and grow out of unwanted SSA to become the heterosexual men they were designed to be. 

Yes, I resent the fact that the medical 'establishment' has taken a position without speaking to the silent majority of men who are quite content with the work. There is more medical research to support the 'reparative therapy' outcomes than there are to support the 'gay' agenda - yet the gay agenda is preached as conclusive.

The bias in your program was way too evident. At least have equal representation.  Additionally, I do apologize for the hundreds of men I know who will not step forward to speak their truths due to the witch hunt the media and gay movement are conducting, but we would be very interested to speak with you privately and look forward to your contacting JONAH ( www.jonahweb.org ) who can arrange such a meeting for us.

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