MY precious son was raped by a boy in the neighborhood when he was 9-10 years old. It happened after he returned home on the bus when I was still at work, an hour or so before I got home. I thought this older, nice teen was giving my son attention, playing ball with him, etc. -- as he never got that attention from his own dad. Even though I spoke to my kids, read books on "bad touch" etc. & was an educator--it didn't "take" with this one son. I've had well meaning Christians condemn me as not doing enough & that I'd not been a good mother or my boy "would have told me" when it happened. But I have peace that this accusation is absurd--as I was in a living hell with an abusive husband & I gave every ounce of love to my children that I could. However, I was married when not a Christian & his blood dad is a non-believer who did drugs & had a huge anger problem, putting us "in fear" in our home.
I came to Christ shortly after our marriage & did all of the Christian training of the kids myself, standing for almost 20 years for the marriage. My other kids are all strong Christians.....but my son fell away from the Lord during high school. This happened when a gay drama "teacher" (not certified but hired under adjunct faculty with other gays) became too "familiar "with my boy---later I found out he proselytized him along with those gay teachers into the hidden world of homosexuality (1990's).
No one listened to me when I complained to the principal & school district about this gay man’s behavior towards my teenage son at school. Instead, the school began to use my son as a "poster boy," writing articles/editorials on being gay & accepted at their politically correct high school. His dad (who was gone when my son was 15.. ..& divorced me), and a group of liberal parents in the acting/drama world encouraged my son that "he was gay or bi". This, after he broke up with his girlfriend when he was 15--deeply distraught & crying for weeks over the loss.
There are so many stories I could share in retrospect as I ponder "what could I have done differently". Yet, today, I know I did all I could with what I knew as a loving mother---but no one would listen to me at the school. In addition, I knew little about the dark world (& it IS DARK) of homosexuality as I'd not been exposed to anything like this in my life. But now I have spent more time in the gay bars, clubs (as I go with my son, counsel kids over a dinner, have them over to our home, etc) than the average older Christian. My present husband & I have spent countless hours counseling & loving this community of hurting individuals....& it is a privilege--in spite of not always being easy.
My son, who is now an adult and whose life thus far has been ravaged, had been my strongest Christian kid--shared Christ at school, sang worship with me, was a straight A student, leader & dynamic believer. He is still friends with the gay teacher--who was finally fired with a district cover up--as he apparently was caught doing drugs with his students.
This gay teacher still holds my son captive...stalking and finding him in other states and now back in our city—he had moved my son into his home. This teacher has gone back on drugs and stolen from my boy (last year). We have rescued my son from this guy's home...& now this man went thru rehab again pulling our boy back into his clutches this year.
Our son is like a "stockholm syndrome child"----feeling sorry for this former teacher & saying. "he was there for me & cared about me when I was young & hurting". Our son has swallowed the whole party line of GAY EVANGELISM & believes it all--even only attending gay AA meetings with his "people". It is similar to a cult. It's all sick/drama/victim mentality & perversity...full of drag queen stuff as well.
This gay teacher was the one who dressed my boy up as a woman on Halloween after his dad left me with a message to me that he "was me---'his mother" . This teacher took my teen son to the "gay community in our city", bought him expensive dinners & introduced him to a world of gay baths, clubs, prom houses where gay dances were held for teens & perversity with older men--many being leaders & politicians. It's all insane. What would I do if I didn't have Jesus thru this abuse? And with all the so called gay boundaries talked about with "protections in our schools"...our culture thinks this is all OK? The double standard for the gay community is sheer madness.
Most recently our son's former teacher got into AA & again, still spends time every week with my boy--now by taking him to AA meetings. In the last month our son has decided to leave town again & go to another city to stay with another key man who he met when he was 16 at a restaurant job he had in high school. This man is 15 yrs his senior & apparently proselytized our son as well when on his first job. I just learned that this man is considered one of his 'GAY FATHERS' who swooped in on our son at the time of vulnerability when his dad had left the home. This fellow had a family at the time (ultimately divorcing & losing everything--including his own children & his blood son). He was living a secret life in the closet when he mentored my son into the lifestyle... and was out finding his own "boys".
Just this week my son said he is leaving for another state because this man has a place & new job for him. My son shared that when he was young & sad about his dad leaving, this man told him he was "fabulous" and an awesome person- -& that he would soon know that he was a GAY man--readying for a "new world" that would be run by homosexuals. So here again, another perpetrator & gay groomer, replacing "daddy" and affirming perversion as to gain satisfaction for the flesh.
As I watch my son leaving town again, with hopes that he continues at the least in AA so that he can get clean & sober, I have this to share with parents who find their child has also succumbed to the homosexual lifestyle:
Only God will hold your molecules together in the grief of it all. Only God will have every answer to each situation & in those times of confusion, help us continue to walk by faith and not by sight. Only God will comfort us through the deepest of sorrows. Only God can make a way where there is no other way. Only God loves our son, daughter, spouse-- more than we do, as our loved one. Only God will bring the perfect conclusion of the matter. Only God will bring Peace amid the storm. Only God can take the perversity, insanity and constant death of the homosexual agenda that is ravaging lives, families and our culture to its end game- BECAUSE OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST, THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA, THE BEGINNING AND THE END, THE FIRST AND THE LAST IS OUR OVERCOMER, AND HE HAS THE FINAL VICTORY.
We cannot succumb to despair as we look upon this great evil and black shroud that seems to consume and eat the life away of our dearest loved ones & our society. We must stay in His Word and continually play PRAISE MUSIC around us in our cars & homes. We must thank the Lord daily for saving our loved one and that "no weapon formed against them will prosper".
We cannot be devoured by what has taken them captive 'nor let the horror consume our own lives - but instead we must fight the good fight of FAITH and find others of like mindedness to stand alongside of. We cannot become co-dependent, allowing ourselves to become lukewarm, sanitizing the message of HOMOSEXUALITY WHICH IS A DEATH to any and all associated with it.
But we also cannot throw our loved ones to the wolves by cutting them off...however, at times we may have to set boundaries emotionally for our own sanity & "distance for a season". We must let them know we LOVE THEM but do not condone their behavior--and clarify that these are separate issues. ONLY GOD will give us the balance in all of this. Not an easy road.....but "he who saves his life shall lose it and who loses his life shall save it".
We must be as BOLD AS LIONS and GENTLE AS DOVES....and battle in the marketplace of ideas, politically as well as in the heavenly sphere. WE CANNOT SHRINK BACK AND HIDE. May we continue to carry on as overcomers in Christ Jesus our Lord and Savior, the author and finisher of our loved one and our own faith in this great battle.
-- PFOX mom of a sexually abused son
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