Monday, November 11, 2013

Mormon WARNING! SoL Alert: Do Not Attend "Reconciling Faith & Feelings" Conference.

November 11, 2013
In This Issue:

WARNING! SoL Alert: Do Not Attend "Reconciling Faith & Feelings" Conference.
What's Wrong With SSA?
The Burning Question: What Do Mormon Homosexualists Want?
How to Spot a False Teacher
When Daddy Doesn't Love Mommy--the effects of "mixed-orientation marriage" on children
Counterfeit Marriage: A Tangled Web of Deceit

WARNING! SoL Alert: Do Not Attend
"Reconciling Faith & Feelings" Conference.
--by Stephen Graham

Standard of Liberty exists to raise awareness of cultural and institutional licentiousness overrunning America and to provide motivation to restore God's essential sexual boundaries thereby protecting the young, preserving true marriage and family, ensuring religious freedom, and preserving civilized society.

Unfortunately, our religious institutions are being infiltrated by wolves in sheep's clothing who would compromise truth with error. They are going to great lengths to promote the idea that same-sex sexual attraction identity (open homosexuality)  is normal, and even Godly. This movement to embrace, celebrate and elevate SSA takes many forms, one of which is a conference scheduled for Saturday, November 16, 2013. The "Reconciling Faith & Feelings" conference will be held in Provo, Utah. Scheduled to last all day, this is a repeat of the same conference held last year at this time, organize and sponsored by active members of the LDS Church. The promoters of this event are some who used to be our allies in the doctrinal view of homosexuality, but who have gradually slipped into a totally worldly view camouflaged with spiritual language, that is finding ways to accommodate homosexuality as if it can fit into God's plan.

We at Standard of Liberty highly recommend that you avoid this conference and discourage others from attending it. We feel its content can be harmful to the eternal souls, and the physical and emotional well-being, of those impressionable youth and adults who attend. Though the conference may include the fact that Mormon 'gays' must remain celebate towards anyone of their same sex, it will surely not define what such chastity would comprise, e.g. refraining from pornography, 'gay' associations and propaganda, dating, flirting, chatrooms, phone sex, hand-holding, hugging, kissing, flaunting, advocating, organizing, recruiting, publically and proudly proclaiming a 'gay' identity, etc. The preceding list of activities have been defined by leading LDS scholars on matters of SSA as forms of "acting on it." It's a good bet there will be zero mention of Christ's gospel of repentance in the conference, although the Lord's name and Atonement will be invoked throughout.

Any intelligent person would wonder why, if SSA is such a driving force in such peoples' lives as to cause them to openly identify themselves by it, those who purport to care about these people wouldn't offer help for becoming virtuous. Indeed this conference will not emphasize or perhaps even offer aid or resources in overcoming unwanted homosexuality. If nothing else, shouldn't such a conference warn of very real health risks? Apparently, the people involved in this conference have great faith in individuals who are preoccupied with perverse sexuality to somehow be pure in heart, mind and body now and for the rest of their lives. Elder Boyd K. Packer has said, "
The most wicked of lies is that they cannot change . . . That cannot be true. They have forgotten the Atonement of Christ." The overwhelming message of last year's conference was that overcoming homosexuality, i.e. change, is not necessary or possible for all practical purposes.

 "I have never met a man who made it from youth to age 45 as a celibate gay Mormon fully active in the Church."

"Studies repeatedly demonstrate that each year a young person postpones labeling themselves as 'homosexual' reduces the likelihood of suicidal attempts by 20%."
-Dr. A. Dean Byrd

95% of new HIV cases are in males 13-24 who have sex with other men.
-Centers for Disease Control

The conference last year, and as far as we can tell, this year, is about "reconciling" the feelings, desires, thoughts, fantasies, etc. of SSA with the Gospel. It also promoted "mixed-orientation marriage," which is temple marriage between a straight woman and an proud, openly-'gay' man. The problem is that homosexuality and the Gospel are irreconcilable, and to claim they can be reconciled is a false claim. "The Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance" (Alma 45:16). One who is troubled by homosexual desires should want to do whatever it takes to overcome and abandon those desires. This conference pretends to teach that maintaining homosexual attractions is an acceptable course to follow. That is simply not so.

Below is an excerpt of a letter we sent last year to one of the promoters of the conference. After the letter, we will include some of our SoL Voice articles that address this issue by providing perspective on different aspects of the Mormon/SSA movement.

Dear -------,

I am more sorry than you can know to read of this misguided and inappropriate meeting. That FAR and AMCAP are sponsoring it is unbelievable. When Dr. Dean Byrd was alive, we talked about young people who were misled into believing that claiming a gay identity was ok. It is not ok to allow yourself to internalize same-sex sexual thoughts, desires and fantasies. It is the lust that Jesus talked about as being sexual sin. To look upon another, opposite sex or same sex, and lust is sinful. And that is what each one of those men do. Some have gotten married, but still openly claim their same-sex desires. How in the world can they make covenants in the temple to keep desires, appetites, etc., in God's bounds when they are actively and openly claiming a gay identity? The gay identity involves same-sex lust, so how is that keeping desires and appetites in proper bounds? It is not.

These people, by having you legitimize their out-of-bounds desires and lusts, are slowly conditioning LDS members to accept same-sex attraction as ok. It is not. For heaven's sake, what are they going to teach their children? That some people are gay and that's ok?

Please, please, cancel this meeting. Do not be one of those being conditioned into accepting SSA as ok. Or at least disassociate yourself from it, and then stand against it.

I am sending, separately, some emails where we discuss the inappropriateness of this move toward "mixed-orientation marriages. Please read them and do the right thing. Dr. Byrd would never have been a part of it. He and I talked about this very thing on several occasions.

Heaven help us,

Stephen Graham

Click here to read this post on the SoL website.

SoL Quote: "Pornography [addiction] has become a huge, huge issue . . . most often [for] males from the ages of 11 on up . . . [spanning] all cultures, religions, and classes. With the advent of the Internet . . . the average age of initially viewing pornography is 5 years old . . . 'We tell people that if you don't get this problem taken care of, it'll kill you.'"
--Lexie Kite quoting Dr. Matthew Hedelius, The Herald Journal, 2006

What's Wrong With Same-Sex Attraction?
by Janice Graham

There is a movement now within the LDS Church to push the notion that SSA (same-sex sexual attraction) is a virtuous and noble identity that can be legitimately claimed by faithful members of the Church, that is, as long as it isn't acted on. Is there anything wrong with this thinking? Yes, lots. For one thing, when we say claiming an unalterable SSA identity is perfectly fine but must never be acted on, it is like saying ballet dancers are praiseworthy but actual ballet dancing is evil, which is crazy-making nonsense. Logically, something cannot be virtuous in theory but wicked in practice.

The scriptures are a great help here. We learn in Moroni 7 that it matters what things entice us. That which is of God always invites and entices us to do good, to love God, and to serve Him. On the other hand, whatsoever thing persuades us toward doing evil is most definitely of the devil. In other words, if a behavior is not of God, then anything that entices one toward that behavior is not of God.

SSA, or same-sex sexual attraction, is not just a neutral label as some may unthinkingly conclude. SSA is about self-maintained sexual feelings and thoughts which entice a person to act in certain ways. As uncomfortable as it may be, we must confront what SSA invites and persuades one to do and to assess whether that behavior is of God.

What behaviors does SSA entice people to do? Honest people cannot deny that same-sex sexual attractions entice a person to perform sexually stimulating acts with persons of the same sex, acts that perversely imitate male-female mating, abuse one's body, and mock the sacred power of procreation.

Click here to read the remainder of this article in the SoL Voice archive.

SoL Quote: "The term tolerance has now become code for acceptance of homosexual behavior and rejection of Judeo-Christian sexual ethics."
--Alan Sears, 2006

The Burning Question:
What Do Mormon Homosexualists Want?

by Janice Graham

Before reading this please note the great distinction we make between those who believe people should privately strive to overcome homosexual tendencies, and those who have decided to publicly embrace and advocate for the SSA identity. By Mormon homosexualists we mean the latter.

Mormon homosexualists, SSA/gay or not, want something or they wouldn't be going public. These are those who have swallowed the totally unproven notion that people are born gay and the totally irreligious and false notion that people can't or shouldn't try to school their sexual thoughts and feelings, and who are therefore caught up in the worldly pro-gay hype. We are seeing Mormon homosexualists marching in gay pride parades, being interviewed on radio and TV, writing books, appearing in newspaper and magazine articles, being invited to speak at LDS-related conferences, and blogging on the internet.

The latest twist in Mormon homosexulism is: Look at me, I'm same-sex attracted, I'm active LDS, I'm not acting out on my homosexuality, I'm even married to an opposite-sex person. I just want to advocate for Mormons with SSA. This may sound reasonable to many people. It may sound like a positive step. But once a person states his allegiance to homosexuality, everything else he says is not to be trusted. Such a stance is incongruent with LDS covenants to keep even one's desires within God's boundaries. It is incongruent with faithfulness in marriage, incongruent with respect for God's gift of the power of procreation, and incongruent with protecting the innocence of, and modeling proper sexuality to, one's children. This stance also obfuscates the definition of acting out and what same-sex lust really is. (See The Family: A Proclamation to the World.)

It's a curious development. Seeing as how they appear to be following all the outward rules and seem to promise they always will, seeing as how they are getting married in the temple, procreating, and serving in the Church, what makes these Mormon homosexualists different from anybody else? The only difference is that they publicly identify themselves by and advocate their temptation. Do the rest of us become apologists for whatever particular temptations toward sin we happen to be experiencing? What would we hope to accomplish? Aren't we all supposed to be turning to Christ, seeking to know what needs correcting in our souls, and overcoming this or that temptation continually? Obviously, this is not what these Mormon homosexualists have in mind. They certainly aren't asking for help in overcoming their homosexual lusts. So, what are they hoping to accomplish? What is it they want?

1. These Mormon homosexualists may want to become popular within the Church. Perhaps they crave the same special acceptance and attention gays are now getting in the world. Society now increasingly accommodates and celebrates all things LGBT and a portion of the Mormon conmmunity seems to be following suit. Now it's looking more and more like publishing your alternative sexuality-but not acting out (whatever that means)-is the way to have everything: stay in the Church mainstream, maintain your lusts, and even become popular. One such Mormon homosexualist is speaking at the annual LDS apologetics FAIR conference in August, advocating for same-sex sexual attraction. (We checked and there is to be no voice for reorientation therapy or LDS ex-gays at this conference as there has been in the past.)

Click here to read the remainder of this article in the SoL Voice archive.

SoL Quote: A health text for high school freshmen in Massachusetts suggests, "Testing your ability to function sexually and give pleasure to another person may be less threatening in your early teens with people of your own sex. . . . You may come to the conclusion that growing up means rejecting the values of your parents."
--from an Alliance Defense Fund publication, 2006

How to Spot a False Teacher
by Janice Graham

False teachers. They are firmly established among the followers of Christ, presenting themselves as the ultra-faithful and ultra-spiritual. How can we recognize them and their false doctrines? The following, in some combination, are some common characteristics and tenets of false teachers today.

They are typically confident, outspoken, smooth-tongued, young, good-looking, tireless, charismatic, and encourage their own celebrity.

They are driven to spread their false doctrines and succeed in deceiving even the most intelligent and faithful, thereby attaining sponsors.

They choose professions that impact the most people: teaching, writing, journalism, blogging, speaking, counseling and the social sciences.

They are practiced in flattery; they tell people what they like to hear.

They say things to make people feel more comfortable about weaknesses and sins.

They mischaracterize God and subvert truth to allow for weakness and sin.

They focus on feelings rather than truths and on outward acts rather than true religiosity.

They tell a lot of sociological stories that stimulate emotions and pride rather than reflection and humility.

They emphasize the self: self-esteem, self-fulfillment, self-importance, self-determined "truth."

They dismiss generational wisdom, including discouraging parental guidance of children, in order to restructure an entire people's religion, morals, traditions, and beliefs.

They presume to hold back realities, truths, and commandments, claiming to know that others are special, incapable, or unprepared for the gospel of Jesus Christ.

They mix in bits of incomplete truths to make their lies more believable. Example: They repeat the truth that "God loves you just the way you are," but leave out how God wants us to better ourselves from the inside out, which is only possible by humbly relying on Christ, in order to qualify for the greatest of all His gifts: eternal life.

They distort truths. Example: they say no one is perfect, but they present this truth as a consolation and excuse for sin.

They spout scriptures and quotes from authority figures with interpretations that suit their purposes.

They dismiss doctrines, if confronted, which contradict their position, and steer the discussion back to flattery and psychobabble.

Click here to read the remainder of this article in the SoL Voice archive.

SoL Quote: "It is a wicked, wicked world in which we live and in which our children must find their way. Challenges of pornography, gender confusion, immorality, child abuse, drug addiction, and all the rest are everywhere. There is no way to escape from their influence. Some are led by curiosity into temptation, then in experimentation, and some become trapped in addiction. They lose hope. The adversary harvests his crop and binds them down. Satan is the deceiver, the destroyer, but his is a temporary victory. The angels of the devil convince some that they are born to a life from which they cannot escape and are compelled to live in sin. The most wicked of lies is that they cannot change and repent and that they will not be forgiven. That cannot be true. They have forgotten the Atonement of Christ."
--Boyd K. Packer, May 2006

When Daddy Doesn't Love Mommy--
the effects of "mixed-orientation marriage" on children

by Stephen & Janice Graham

We have had a lot of feedback on our articles about the LDS open "mixed-orientation marriage" development. What we haven't discussed is the effect this would have on the children involved.

As we see the much-praised and publicized trend for openly same-sex attracted guys to get straight girls to marry them in the temple so they can progress toward their ostensible goals in the Church, we also see that couples involved in this experimental phenomenon are bringing children into their homes, however that is achieved. How will this affect these children?  Do the parents teach their children that their daddy doesn't love their mommy the way married people should, that he wishes he could go to bed with another man instead?

Children growing up in a home where it is openly accepted and publicly known that the father is permanently SSA, homosexual, or gay, that is, romantically attracted not to the mother, his wife, but to another man or men, would seem to be growing up in a very insecure and dangerous environment. Proper attitudes toward sexuality are not being modeled. Instead, the child is being taught all kinds of harmful, false, and confusing ideas: that love and sex need not be connected, that fathers need not be affectionate toward mothers, that husbands and wives need not love each other the way married people do, that extra-marital lust is harmless, that it's okay for men to be turned on by other men, and the list goes on. Will the child have fears that Daddy will abandon the family if he falls in love with a man?

It seems that the openly homosexual father will undoubtedly model what are now thought of as gay stereotypes or exemplify homosexuality in one way or another (even if not actually acting out with other men), or why would he be openly SSA? He may be a spokesman, writer, therapist, facilitator, or belong to activist groups. The vulnerable child will naturally seek to emulate his father in every way. The duped mother may also endorse the homosexual identity and encourage the child to admire and copy the father. The child will then grow up believing that being SSA is okay, and that same-sex sexual attraction is a perfectly fine channel for his or her developing sexuality to take.

Of course the above is what the children would be learning in such a home. How can a mixed-orientation couple, married in the temple with the approbation of Church, family, and friends, teach their child anything else? Given their public declaration of support for SSA and mixed-orientation marriage, these parents aren't going to be teaching their own child that their own mixed-orientation marriage is in any way abnormal or below standard. Of course they will teach their children, even in unspoken ways, that they are a normal couple, or as these couples have articulated, even superior to traditional heterosexually oriented couples. Hence, the child will grow up thinking homosexuality and mixed orientation marriage are actually better than heterosexual coupling. Is this true or right or fair?

The other day we watched a good movie called There Be Dragons. A quote: "In a child's heart many seeds are planted. You never know quite what will grow." Before we allow for, encourage, support, or embrace mixed-orientation marriage, we need to consider what it will be teaching the children in that home.

Our books can help. Me Tarzan, You Jane is a short, gentle-worded picture book for children of all ages stating the truth about male and female, romantic feelings, and marriage that can be read over and over without embarrassment  Read and use the text for free by clicking here or order the book for $7.00 by clicking here.  See also Chased by an Elephant for LDS families or Wild Elephant for families of all Christian denominations with pre-teen children and up, My Darling from the Lions, and Captain of My Soul.

-Stephen & Janice Graham

Click here to read the this article in the SoL Voice archive.

SoL Quote: "I believe this grab for children by the sexually confused adults of the Gay Elite represents the most serious problem facing our culture today."
-- Tammy Bruce, The Death of Right and Wrong, 2003

Counterfeit Marriage: A Tangled Web of Deceit
by Janice Graham

We teach a standard of moral conduct that will protect us from Satan's many substitutes or counterfeits for marriage. We must understand that any persuasion to enter into any relationship that is not in harmony with the principles of the gospel must be wrong. . . Some suppose that they were preset and cannot overcome what they feel are inborn temptations toward the impure and unnatural. Not so! President Boyd K. Packer, "Cleansing the Inner Vessel," Oct. 2010 Gen. Conf.

You'll have to come to your own conclusion why LDS Living Magazine, owned by Deseret Book and sold at Deseret Bookstores, has published an over-the-top cover article that is the antithesis of the above statement by President Packer, the second highest ranking leader in the LDS Church.

Our Story, Living with Same-sex Attraction by Ty and Danielle Mansfield, appearing in the May/June 2012 issue is a lengthy article illustrated with over a dozen photos, including a huge 2-page-spread close-up of the couple's faces (he is kissing her on the cheek). Written by the author of two gay-affirming books published by Deseret Book and his wife, the article is based on some serious new kookiness and some very false presumptions. What is presented as a happy, warm, fuzzy, and above all, highly spiritual article, is actually a tangled web of ignorance, delusion, and manipulation.

Please note that even more dangerous than the false representation of homosexuality as pure and noble, and the radical redefinition of some higher form of marriage that is supposedly nonsexual, is the presumptuous spiritual component in this article. The claim of personal revelation on sweeping topics that affect the very foundations of an entire people's faith is this author's stock in trade. We quote from Ty Mansfield's book, In Quiet Desperation, in which he likens himself to Moses. "It was as if the Lord were saying to me, ' . . . Ancient Israel was called to build a tabernacle . . . You, my son, have likewise been called to a responsibility of great magnitude, for you have been called to build a kingdom'" (247). Please see Dr. A. Dean Byrd's review of this book.

We apologize if the following intrudes on this couple's privacy. As always, we do not mean to attack individuals and most certainly wish only the best for this young couple and their innocent child. It is only because they have set themselves up as a light and voluntarily made their "mixed orientation marriage" an object of public concern by publicizing and defending what Pres. Packer called one of "Satan's many substitutes or counterfeits for marriage" that we feel we must respond to this article. Sorry this is so long; there are just so many things wrong with the article.

Tangle #1
The article presumes people who experience SSA are doomed to have to live with it. Again, "Not so!" Many outgrow SSA or make a determined and successful effort to overcome and reorient their sexual feelings in the proper direction (PFOX, NARTH, Exodus International, JONAH, Standard of Liberty). You'd think this promising couple would seek to resolve this supposedly on-going problem, but there is no discussion of understanding where the feelings came from in the first place, or about getting help for rooting out the misguided thoughts and lawless lusts.

Tangle #2
But wait a minute. Is the husband in this article really same-sex attracted? How do we know this? After all, his most recent actions, which are glowingly described, are undoubtedly heterosexual. In his own words, he was "drawn to Danielle in multiple ways." (Notice he uses the word drawn instead of its synonym attracted.) He enjoyed a whirlwind romance, married this woman for time and forever, posed for many happy wedding pictures, and subsequently fathered a child. And Danielle says her husband's SSA "isn't noticeable in our marriage."

What is same-sex attraction anyway? It seems Mansfield has convinced his wife that SSA, although it is his claim to fame, doesn't mean anything of any importance. She says, "I don't think much about my husband experiencing SSA unless something stereotypical comes up, like he's a much better decorator than I am and he is a better listener than any other man I've ever dated." What does she think gayness is - just some outward trappings she happens to consider unusual in men? Then she has drunk the gay Koolaid and doesn't know much about the opposite sex. Just because a man is artistic or a good listener does not mean he is homosexual. In fact, all healthy men have everything it takes to be men in all the important ways no matter what their talents or hobbies.

If SSA is just about innocuous outward characteristics, who cares about it? Why do we feel sorry for men who paint or sing? Why do they need special rights? Why do we care about this couple? It's like any other couple. Danielle writes, "People sometimes want to know what it's like to be married to someone who experiences same-sex attraction. My answer is, I don't know." So, LDS Living has published an article about nothing? It's like an episode of Seinfeld.

Click here to read the remainder of this article in the SoL Voice archive.

SoL Quote:
"If I profess with the loudest voice and clearest expression every portion of the truth of God except precisely that little point which the world and the devil are at that moment attacking, I am not confessing Christ, however boldly I may be professing Christ. Where the battle rages, there the loyalty of the soldier is proved, and to be steady on all the battlefield besides is mere flight and disgrace if he flinches at that point."
-- Martin Luther (1483-1546)

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Our new book Captain of My Soul may be ordered on now for 12.95, free shipping. It will be available soon on and Also find Chased by an Elephant, the Gospel Truth about Today's Stampeding Sexuality for LDS families, Wild Elephantthe Gospel Truth about Today's Stampeding Sexuality for all Christian families, and Me, Tarzan, You Jane for the youngest children written for all Christian families, also at Tidal Wave Books, BYU Bookstore, through Barnes and Noble and

If you or anyone you know is troubled with unwanted homosexuality, our website offers help and hope for those who truly desire to overcome it. On our website just click the Get Informed button. You will find helpful resources there: articles, papers, books, websites, videos. Be sure to read "The Only Good Choice," found at the top of our Home Page.

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