Sunday, July 13, 2014

Ruth Institute Blog » I had Masha Gessen’s dream of five parents… and it sucked

Ruth Institute Blog » I had Masha Gessen's dream of five parents… and it sucked

I had Masha Gessen's dream of five parents… and it sucked

Imagine having five parents! Here's what it means: it means going back and forth between all those households on a regular basis, never having a single place to call home during your most tender and vulnerable years. It means having divided Christmases, other holidays, and birthdays–you spend one with one parent, and another with the other parent, never spending a single holiday or birthday with both parents. Imagine having each of your parents completely ignore the other half of you, the other half of your family, as if it did not even exist. Meanwhile, imagine each parent pouring their energy into their new families and creating a unified home for their new children. These experiences give you the definite impression of being something leftover, something not quite part of them. You live like that on a daily basis for 18+ years.
Does this look like a fun way to spend your childhood?

As a child, would you choose this family structure? Does this look fun?

I don't have to imagine, because I had five parents. I had five parents because my mom and dad divorced when I was about three; my mom remarried once and my dad remarried twice. So I had a mom and two step-moms, and a dad and one step-dad. In this day and age children can already have five parents. That's how badly marriage has deteriorated already. The main difference between what Gessen advocates and my experience is that my step parents were not legal parents; she advocates for all of the adults in her situation to be legal parents.

No comments:

Post a Comment